I've noticed on a lot of blogs that the writers often enjoy posting pictures from google or pinterest or wherever. These pictures are supposed to reflect their moods, thoughts, etc, yet it's always seemed odd to me. They talk about how they feel, how bad things are going, they're depressed, and whatnot. And I don't understand it.
Sometimes I feel extremely disconnected from the rest of the world - the emotions of the world. I am an unemotional person. From 15 - 18 or so I felt almost no emotions at all. The only one I would feel (With some minor exceptions) would be limited happiness in a situation that would put most people into giggling hysterics of joy.
Around 17 or so I was put on a natural hormone therapy regime to bring up my levels of hormones and I was also diagnosed with hypothyroid (which produces hormones). Apparently, I didn't have many and it caused me to be unable to feel as well as other people. Even now, my levels are normal and I should feel, but I don't. Not to the extremes I witness from others.
I'm content.
I enjoy life, but without the roller coaster. When I'm out and about, I slip on a mask, I can laugh, I can be serious, whatever the situation calls for, I do it without even realizing. It's what people expect, and now it's what I expect of myself.
I'm a chameleon.
I adapt to my situations, my surroundings, I blend in. Some might assume this means I'm not 'being myself,' that I should just 'be who I am' no matter where I am, but that is who I am. Adaptable, content wherever. Now there are situations that I prefer, and situations I don't appreciate as much as others, but I can deal.
I have peace.
God has granted me a peaceful blessed life, and even if I were a more emotional person, I would be an ungrateful wretch if I didn't see how wonderful the life is that He has given me.
This post started as something completely different and went off on a ramble, and if you read the whole thing and stayed with it. Props to you. I'm not even sure any of this made sense.
Your post made complete sense to me. Especially since I can relate. I've had people tell me I have no emotions before. I just don't feel them or show them to the same extent.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed that in my church youth group, however, the emotional and louder ones are the people who go to or have gone to public school, and the quieter ones are the homeschoolers. There's quite a different mindset between the two groups.
Thanks for the comment.
DeleteI'm glad I was at least a little comprehensible. I have noticed a difference between homeschoolers and public schoolers, though there are definitely those who break the average. Quiet public schoolers and loud homeschoolers. A lot of it depends on their parents and upbringing. :)
Makes perfect sense. I feel some emotions but not others. And in times when everyone else is stressed out and showing it, I'm not. I think it does have to do with contentment and peace. The world says it's okay to go screaming around when the boat is tossing and turning. But sometimes you have to be levelheaded in order to do something about it. And even if you don't do anything about it, someone might be a little calmer because you were too. :) Hope that makes sense...
ReplyDeleteDefinitely.
DeleteThanks for the comment.
Yes, us less emotional people are good stability for those who are more emotionally inclined. :)
I followed it, Amanda :) It makes sense to me. I'll admit I can be one of the emotionally hyperactive ones, but I still understand what you're saying.
ReplyDeleteGreat! :) I'm glad.
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